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Thursday, April 9, 2009

Question #8 - "If a blog fails, does it make a splat sound?"

Question from Marcus in Missouri: "If a blog fails, does it make a splat sound?"

Good question, Marcus. Let's listen............................


Yup.... thanks again for the question.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Question #7 - "What, in your mind, are the problems with the current BCS bowl system?"

Question from Bob in Phoenix, "What, in your mind, are the problems with the current BCS bowl system?"

Well, I must say, this is by far the best question that has been asked so far. First, let me say that at current, the system is broken. Any sport where teams that finish unblemished have no shot at a national title, while teams that have one or two losses can become champion is insane. What other sport, professional or otherwise, creates such a boondoggle?

For instance, this year, Southern Cal loses to a very poor Oregon State team that is not only unranked, but was and is considered to be one of the worst teams in the PAC-10. They drop nine spots in the rankings, and are still national title contenders?

Another problem is the fact that it is more than likely that at least one of the teams, if not both teams that head to the championship will do so with one or more losses. The question is why? Why would this be allowed to happen?


Well, lets see... how can we even possibly begin to say that when the best teams from the SEC/BIG 10/BIG 12/PAC10 etc. hardly ever play the best teams from the so called mid-major leagues? I agree that coming out on top of the SEC is one of the more difficult things in College Football, but to say that a Florida, or LSU could walk all over Boise State, BYU, or Utah is at best shooting in the dark. They will never play, and as such you will never know who is better.

The only shot an UNDEFEATED, mid-major conference champion gets, is to possibly play and destroy a team that does not have any reason being in a BSC bowl; (see Oklahoma, Notre Dame, and Pittsburgh in the Fiesta Bowl).

The fact of the matter is that there is a lot of money in those big time BCS bowls, and there is a kind of 2 year old kid "I don't want to share" mentality that pervades the selection process. With the money that goes along with this, one can be little surprised that Presidents of schools in so-called major conferences are not really all that excited about sharing the wealth.

Collegiate athletes playing football should have a chance at fulfilling their dreams no mater where they play. The only way to do that is to allow the champions in each of the 11 conferences get a chance to prove their mettle in a playoff.


Each conference gets one automatic bid to the playoff, with 5 bids going to at large teams. Seeding for the automatic bids would be determined by a ranking system that is similar to the current BCS computer rankings. If we take the 2007 season as a template, these would be the rankings and seeds- (rating the league champions by their final ranking of the year, unranked champions rated last, and the highest ranked at large berths rated in between.)

1. Ohio State
2. LSU
3. Oklahoma
4. USC
5. West Virginia
6. Hawaii
7. Brigham Young
8. Virginia Tech
9. Georgia
10. Kansas
11. Arizona St.
12. Florida
13. Illinois
14.Florida Atlantic
15. Central Michigan
16. Central Florida

It would be a simple 1 vs. 16; 2 vs. 15; 3 vs. 14; 4 vs. 13; 5 vs. 12; 6 vs. 11; 7 vs. 10; 8 vs. 9.

All 8 games would be nationally televised the first weekend of December with games played at the home field of the highest ranked team. Games would be played on Friday and Saturday. From there you would be left with 8 teams progressing to the next week.

Here is where the old bowl system would come into play. Each of these eight teams would have a place in the major bowls (Rose, Sugar, Orange, Fiesta). We would revert to the old way with the National Championship being hosted by one of those bowls. These bowls would be played as usual at the first of the year. All other bowls would also be set at this point.

The playoff would continue till you had the top two, who would play the second Monday of January.

Honestly, this is the best option, and it would bring in more money, and exposure to NCAA Football than the broken BCS system could ever provide. It is time for a system that rewards actual not perceived achievement. It is time for the BCS to change it's name to the BOWL PLAYOFF SERIES.

email your questions to

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Question #6 - "Why do we breathe air? Why could we not breathe chocolate or something else fun?"

Question from Pedro is Kentucky: "Why do we breathe air? Why could we not breathe chocolate or something else fun?"

This is a question that has been debated for a long time. I mean, when walking down the street in any large city in the world, the first thing that pops in your mind as you cough is "why can't I breathe chocolate or something else fun?"

The task to answer this question is daunting to say the least, but here is my attempt:

1. Evolution - We are well on the way to evolving a way to aspirate things other than Air. All we need is for a large group of our poplulation to die off trying to breath chocolate and after a million years --- ZAMO!!!--- Air will be a thing of the past.

2. One thing that might also be the reason we cannot breathe chocolate is due the fact that it is an aphrodisiac. Could you imagine a bunch of love crazed people running around the planet all the time? In the words of Brillat-Savarin,Jean Anthelme:

La truffe n'est point un aphrodisiaque positif; mais elle peut, en certaines occasions, rendre les femmes plus tendres et les hommes plus aimables.

3. As to why we cannot breathe something else, just remember that there is a lot of air, and not so much of everything else. The only subsitute for that is bull crap... which seems to be the only renewable energy that is always in abundance.

Thanks for the question. If you have a questions please email

Monday, September 8, 2008

Question #5 - "I watched the UW/BYU game on Saturday, and it begs the question... have we gone totally overboard on this whole celebration thing?"

Question from Jorge from Seattle, WA... "I watched the UW/BYU game on Saturday, and it begs the question... have we gone totally overboard on this whole celebration thing?"
I can answer this in one word... YES!
That being said, college football should be held to a higher standard than the NFL. Sportsmanship over showing off. Taunting detracts from overall brilliance of a great catch, or spectacular run. Rather than we as viewers being in awe of the athleticism of the player, we are left with a hollow view of that player as person.

I recall a game where BYU played the University of Utah, and one Rob Morris (MLB for BYU) intercepted the UofU quarterback and ran it back for a touchdown. Impressive, brilliant.... wait a minute... he is doing a pretend snow angel in the endzone... what a jerk.

There are many instances where an offensive lineman sits on the quarterback for a few extra seconds to either squish the poor guy, tell him to enjoy being on the ground, or say something about his momma. It's poor sportsmanship any time you don't let your game do the talking. Simple as that.

Now in the case of the poor boy from UW who, upon setting up the tying extra point, lost his head and threw the ball 30 feet in the air. I think that it was very impressive for Jake Locker to run all over the BYU defense. I believe that he was the game changer for the Huskies, despite many errant throws. He got caught up in the moment, and was penalized for it. Now was the call correct? Yes. The rule clearly prohibits the exact thing that Locker did.

Now for the controversy... Did the call cost the Huskies the game? Well let's see, I have a few questions of my own:

Did the call take away the straight on 35 yard PAT? ----- No
Did the call remove the O-Line of the Huskies from the field? ----- No
Did the call allow BYU to bowl over the O-line of the Huskies ----- No
Did the call in any way make the hands of the BYU line bigger? -----No

The Washington Huskies cost themselves the game by:
1. Not stopping BYU
2. Not scoring enough
3. Not allowing their kicker to get the PAT off before BYU blocked it

I agree that the celebration rule needs to be changed, but that in no way takes away from a stout BYU line that blocked a game tying PAT. Really must have been a very slow day at the office for ESPN to make such hay of such an obvious call.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Question #4 - Why is the sky blue?

Question from Sam from SLC, UT... "Why is the sky blue?

Well, to be honest, the sky has no color. Blue is what are eyes perceive, but it's a great big fat lie. Space is black, they say... but how can nothing have a color? And if nothing has a color, and the sky is colorless, then why is water blue in oceans and lakes? And if water has a blue color in a lake or ocean, how come it doesn't have a color when it's in my glass? Also, if water, the sky, and space have no color, then why do they look like they do?

Answer: God

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Question #3 - What's the best way to cook a hamburger?

Question from Steve in Nebraska: What's the best way to cook a hamburger?

I have found that when cooking a hamburger, you are more important than just about anyone. You wield the power of taste, and the satisfaction of stomach. You are the master of the palate, the, uh, cooker of meat.

When you cook your hamburger, there are some things to do and some things not to do. I have a very simple list of Do's and Don'ts...


  • Do use real meat. (No tofu)
  • Do make them big because they shrink
  • Do use Barbecue sauce
  • Do include garlic
  • Do use Lowery's Seasoned Salt
  • Do have friends over


  • Don't make bricks. Meaning, don't overcook. Flame kissed, not flame French kissed.
  • If you are using (shudders) hamburger from your local grocery store (gags), DON'T UNDER COOK. It is frowned upon in culinary circles when your guests die from some crazy bacteria.
  • Don't walk away from the grill. A perfect burger is killed by ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) moments.
  • Don't tick of the bees. Bees are a part of grilling, so it's better if they be happy.
  • Last but not least, watch out for crazy uncle Lou. He has been banned from backyard barbeque's for a reason. DON'T INVITE LOU.

Well, that does it for today. Send your questions to

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Question #2 - How do I check the oil in my car?

Question from Joe, in Utah... "How do I check the oil in my car"

Well here's the answer in 456 steps.

1. Make sure you have a car.
2. Make sure you have the keys to that same car.
3. Make sure the car is off.
4. Open the car door. (Preferably the driver side door... ie. the one with the steering wheel.)
5. Pull the latch that releases the hood. (It looks kind of like a latch)
6. Get out of the car.
7. Go around to the front of the car. (Opposite side of the back)
8. Do not try to open the hood yet.
9. Feel under the open part of the hood for a release latch... it's somewhere.
10. Once you feel the latch, don't stop there. You need to move it the correct way... move it one way or the other.
11. You may then lift the hood.
12. Skipping step thirteen will result in massive head injuries.
13. Find the safety holder upper thingy, and put it in it's place.
14. Stick your head under the hood.
15. Look for a little pole thing with a finger hole thing. (Usually this is somewhere near the engine)
16. Put your finger in the thingy and pull the pole out.
17. Wipe the oil on something... Not your clothes, unless you want oil on your clothes. (If you do not see oil on the pole, make sure that you followed step 1. If so then go to step 456.)
18. Put the pole back into the hole. (Preferably the same hole you pulled the pole out of, because that is where the oil is.)
19. Get the pole back out.
20. Look at the pole.
21. If you have oil on the pole, then you have oil in your car. If the oil goes up the pole to a certain spot, then you have enough oil.
22. If the oil doesn't go up far enough, then go to step 456.

Optional Step, or required step... depending on your situation.

456. Put oil in your car. (Not on the seats or the dashboard, but in the engine. But not anywhere in the engine. You must find the oil compartment thingy. Open that and put oil in there. But not any oil. You should use Motor Oil, because cooking oil may cause unwanted results, unless you have French Fries, in which case you should be able to fry them up nicely.)

To ask a question, please email